There’s a magical place where all sorts of bewitching alchemy is performed and it’s called Canal House. It’s the best kind of laboratory and wizard shop, and now you can be a grand part of it all.

Hang on to your hats, kids, because Canal House Cooking has just published the second book in their series. And everything in it, from the photography to the recipes, will shiver your timbers.

I swear I gained 10 pounds just looking at this glorious photo of chocolate ginger cake. This volume is all about Holiday feasts, fare and family.

Get the first volume too, though. You’ll absolutely want it. It’s all the rage, you know.

And then wait impatiently for the next volume. Yes, tapping your feet and drumming your fingers on the table is allowed. Buy the book here.

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

So the mobs are about to descend upon us; time to trot out those guidelines, pointers, hints, tips and stealth info on what not to do in the City when you visit over Thanksgiving.

You may not care. You should, though. You’ll be one of us, an insider, a kind-of native, which will see you through bad/iffy weather, no cabs when you want them, ultra-expensive cocktails and a general shock and awe of all things New York.

1. Leggings are not pants or trousers. Please cover your bits up.

2. Don’t wear clothes 2 sizes too small. Please. We don’t want to see your skin or your panty line or those extra 10+ pounds you’ve been trying to lose for God knows how long. It’s just not pretty. Yes, it makes your butt look big.

3. Don’t be rude. It’s a lie that New Yorkers are rude. We’re the nicest bunch of people on the planet, so you won’t be doing yourself any favors.

4. Please don’t walk 3- or 4-abreast on the sidewalk. We’re BUSY, and IN A HURRY and will just mow you down or take you out. Besides, I guarantee you that you will be walking much slower than we are. Trust me.

4½. And that brings me to this: Walk faster. Or at least don’t walk in the middle of the sidewalk if you’re strolling. And really, anything less than Mach 1 is strolling.

5. Camera around the neck: do we even need to go there? And while we’re at it, ditto fanny packs, belly bags or anything tied, affixed, riveted or annexed to your waist.

6. Enormous handbags. Yes, of course necessary. But no, don’t flatten someone slinging them around. Be aware of tight spaces, is what I’m sayin’. And it’s all tight spaces here.

7. A word on Uggs: ugh. Especially if you’re wearing them with leggings and your girly bits are hanging out. Horrific.

8. Please don’t talk on your cell in elevators. We don’t want to hear it. We really don’t. Really.

9. If you must talk on your cell, avoid Cell Yell at all costs. Why on earth do you think anyone wants to hear it?! We don’t. We really don’t. We really really don’t. It’s not that interesting, frankly. I hope to God I’ve made my point here.

10. Texting? Yeah, walk really slowly in the middle of the sidewalk like you’re the center of the universe. That’s the surest way of getting cussed out and trust me, we know words that you’ve never heard of which will make you blush in colors you’ve never heard of, either.

Laugh lots. Shop more. Get giddy over the holiday decorations which are magnificent. Be patient and nice. Ask directions! Wear black; it’s slimming, chic and very New York.

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

Katy Kane is one smart cookie. She has found a lavender farm that is the closest thing to Provence this side of the pond. This incredible farm sells all things lavender: candles, soaps, honey, skin care, dried and for cooking. And get this … Carousel Farm was first established in 1748 … that’s some kind of good dirt.

So anyway. Katy gets a mountain of their products for her gift closet: birthday gifts, house gifts, hostess gifts, get well gifts, you name it gifts. You should do what she does, you know. Anyone with such good taste can’t be wrong.

And the best part? You don’t have to speak French. I mean you can, but you don’t have to.

There are 2 sizes of candles. Candle combos like Lavender-Cucumber, Lavender-Rosewood, Lavender-Lavender, here.

Loose lavender, here.

Switch to this honey, now.

They’ve got some kind of wonderful going on at Carousel Farms. Check it out and then write Katy a thank you note.

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

Anything by Naef of Switzerland is just brilliant. You can transform these seemingly innocent blocks into a fantasy land of castles, train engines, flowers and maybe even letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why you can only find them in children’s stores when they’re just perfect for big kids like us.

Why should little kids have all the fun?

Each puzzle consists of 25 maple blocks, so the combinations are just endless. Endless, I say.

Just minor miracles that bring major smiles. Just like the little engine that could. Pretty insane, right? Get it here.

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

Sassy name for a swanky martini glass.

Each glass comes with a gold plated chain with a hook to impale your olive. The chain is attached to the stem, so you don’t worry about that. So now you don’t have to worry about your olive skittering off the stupid pick and sliding to the bottom of the glass so you have to fish it out with your fingers when you have to have it right this minute. Clearly, I’ve been there. Obv, oh really?

These are in a limited edition, so if you’re planning on lining these up on silver trays for the cocktail party of the century, I’d get thee to these on the hurry side of things. They’re right here.

Yes, I’ll have another, please. Thank you.

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

Got this in my inbox today and am doing the Christian thing by sharing. A signed DVD of the Valentino movie by the master himself. It just doesn’t get too much better than this, kids.

If you don’t know the movie, then clearly you’ve been hiding under a rock for the past year or so. (Okay, so doing the Christian thing again and forgiving.) What’s the movie? It’s the chronicle of Valentino’s incredibly celebrated and colorful career as the last couturier.

Isn’t this just the best gift for the fashion obsessed in your life? Did I mention that it was signed? As in autographed? As in run, don’t walk!

See? Here’s his autograph. Limited quantities, and exclusive to Moss, here. Like I said, you best run as fast as your stilettos will let you to score one.

xxxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

If I say pretty please and curtsy cutely, would someone get me these? I would do my famous happy dance if they fell from Heaven into my lap.

Each lantern is handcrafted using centuries-old techniques and are then drilled with pin dot patterns. If you leave them alone as you should, they’ll develop a patina that’s not to be believed. I have no idea how you get light into them, but I don’t care. Maybe you don’t get light into them; I still don’t care.

I get like that.

In 2 sizes: 7.5 x 12”, or 10.5 x 13”; both here.

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

These bring a whole new meaning to marking your territory. Better than a nametag; each person at your next dinner party gets their initial. The designated driver of dessert plates.

There are so many things you can do with these it makes me dizzy just thinking about it. Load one down with treats for a hostess gift.

Give a set to a bride with her new initial.

Or do S’s for salad and D’s for dessert, just so there’s no confusion. There’s always that possibility, if great quantities of cocktails or wine have been involved, you know.

And speaking of, use the W for a wine coaster. Also a great gift paired with a good bottle … hell, it doesn’t even have to be that good of a bottle if you’re doing this.

Then do a C for Champagne while you’re at it.

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen.

Winter’s hovering. It’s out there, just waiting for the exact moment you’re not prepared. So fool Mother Nature and get your act together. Winterize your digits now, chick-a-dees.

You best get two pairs of everything … there’s really nothing like just having one glove. Not a good look, you know.

Leather mitts with bling. Kind of biker, kind of not, here.

An homage to Kenny Scharf, for that manic splash of color, here.

By Yohji, of course. Who else?

Little merino mesh mitts; not so practical, but who the hell cares? They’re totally cool, by Rag and Bone, natch.

Cute pandas for those days you really need to channel your inner school girl, here.

So glam you’ll die, and so will everybody else. Not for the faint of heart or pocket, here.

Long, lean arm warmers, which are essential.

Yeah, you can be all crunchy and knit your own, but why? Give those as gifts; get all of these for yourself!

xxooxxo,
BobbiePen

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, we all need to rush out and buy this sweater. Or get it to channel your fantasy of wearing pasties. Or to count how many comments you get when you wear it. Is what I’m saying. I would wear Maybelline blue eye shadow to match, just for that tasteful touch.

Your ta-tas, bazooms, rack, tits, headlights … your girls will have a blast.

Winkin’, blinkin’ and nod, right here.

xxooxxo,
Bobbie Pen.